Life Long Love: Meet the Ross’s
How many years have you been married and how old were you when you got married?
“27 years. 21 and 22.”
Where & how did the two of you meet?
“We met at a very small college called Bluefield College in the middle of Appalachia. There was not much to do at Bluefield other than study and fall in love.”
What first attracted you to one another?
“For Sheldon the attraction was physical. He watched this particular European girl walk across campus one day and it was love at first sight. For Eszter it was anything but. Sheldon was a poor student athlete, with no wardrobe to speak of. He had no family support and was not handsome in the conventional “American” way. However as she allowed herself to get to know him she found a deeper attraction in his love for others.”
We all have ideas about how marriage is supposed to be when we say our wedding vows. What was one of the first challenges you encountered that challenged your ideas of what marriage was supposed to be?
“It was wonderful to be young newlyweds full of hope, ambition and innocence. However the immaturity of our early 20s made us vulnerable to so many of life’s marital pitfalls. The biggest example would be our financial decision making. Investing in business ideas that were doomed to fail from the start and ambitiously living above our means. All of these introduced unnecessary stress into our marriage.”
What has helped you stay together? What's your secret?
“It all begins with our faith in Christ. Our individual spiritual journeys have directly impacted several key attributes of a mature marriage. Communication, intimacy, patience and forgiveness. As we continue to commit to investing in our spiritual growth our marriage thrives. A key principle we find in scripture from Luke 9 and Galatians 2 is to die to self and to live for Christ. We believe that living for Christ is the only way to have a truly successful marriage.”
Do you pray together? Or have other faith activities?
“While we recognize the value of joint prayer we have learned to accept that based on our cultural differences our prayer styles are also very different. We give each other space to pray as we both prefer. Eszter is a morning person, she likes to pray alone and when the house is quiet. Sheldon is a night owl, loves to crank up worship music and worship and pray freely.”
Do you date? How do you play together? How has that changed during your years together?
“Yes, we try to go out every month as our schedule allows if nothing more for a cup of coffee. We have become more intentional especially since our children have gotten older.”
What do you call your in-laws?
“Mom, Dad, Helga, Sanyi”
How do you KNOW your spouse loves you? How do you let your spouse know you love them?
“We tell and show each other our love every day through our daily communication, intimacy, patience and forgiveness. But it’s always important to say “I love you”.”
Share a nugget of wisdom you wish you could give to your younger selves.
“Don’t be stupid!” 😂
“Life is hard: it’s harder if you’re stupid.” -John Wayne
This may sound harsh but as Forrest Gump’s momma says: “Stupid is as stupid does.”
What do you do on a regular basis for your marriage?
“Make time to talk.”
