Autumn Invitation: Attachment and Mindfulness
Dr. Jesse taking some time to be here and now in this beautiful moment!
Bright blue and swirls of white
The autumn sky dazzles my eye
Horizontal rays illuminate tree and barn
Bright reds, oranges, and yellows cling to dancing limbs
A visual feast for my soul
— Jesse Gill
Autumn is in full force in the Northeast, and this morning I longed to be a part of it. Concerns for loved ones with illness and other cares of the past week were resting heavily on my mind. I needed some moments to center myself in the “here and now,” bathe my senses, move my body, and connect with my Creator.
These are the truths that I teach in classes and writings, and I personally attest that they are a gift for my soul. I believe that they are a gift to all of us. This morning my mindfulness practices of movement, gratitude, and prayer were the vehicles that uplifted my mind and strengthened my God Attachment.
Attachment and the Present Moment
We are created for connection, from the moment we are born we are totally dependent on our caregivers for warmth, touch, soothing, and provision. We can’t regulate our body temperature, much less our central nervous systems, so we cling to the arms of ones who would tenderly care for us.
If we are fortunate, we are attended to by caregivers who not only shelter us in our moments of need, but they also take delight in us. They enjoy our sense of newness and wonder as we see the world for the first time and explore its beauty all around us.
Shelter from our caregivers serves to quiet the chaos of fear and despair. This soothing shelter brings us tenderly into the “here and now.” Comforting touch from our caregivers, along with their verbal and nonverbal signals of empathy let us know that we are not alone; it’s going to be okay. It’s one of the “reset” mechanisms for our central nervous systems so that we can be restored, and we can continue to grow.
Delight in the immediacy of a shared moment with our caregivers is the other gift that brings us into the present moment. It’s enthralling and encouraging to know that our caregivers are pleased with us, embracing our uniqueness while supporting our growth. Delight galvanizes our focus in that moment. We crave this focused attention, and it gives us confidence to launch out and face the world.
I encourage my clients to use the power of Attachment to comfort their central nervous systems and to bring them into the present moment. For parents of young children, this is a synergistic combination. I encourage parents to play with their children, push them on the swings, take nature walks, and enjoy the simplicity of coloring together. All these shared focus points build the attachment bond with the child while also helping the grown up to have a mindfulness experience.
For married clients, I encourage them to gaze deeply into the eyes of their beloved. I invite them to kiss passionately and share all forms of tender and exploratory touch with their mate. I invite them to shelter one another midst the storms of life. This quiets anxiety while replacing regrets with the felt gifts of acceptance and belonging.
Autumn Meditations
Autumn lends itself to “here and now” focus with its evanescent artwork on display. We are certain that we’ll see something new and beautiful each time we venture out. We don’t want to miss a single minute. It’s an opportunity to engage all our senses which is deeply calming as it frees us from the distractions of screens and worries. We can move our bodies outdoors through walking, stretching, or jogging. This sends crucial signals to our central nervous systems that we are not trapped; we have agency over our next steps. These movements also serve as a manual override for any pent-up stress that has been stored in our bodies through our Fight or Flight Response systems.
And there is one more aspect of mindfulness time outdoors which can be profoundly spiritual. When we acknowledge the Source of the gifts of autumn, the gifts of movement, and the senses to experience them all, then we cultivate space to grow our God Attachment. This is the connection we co-create with our Creator.
Humans who meditate on God as loving and generous will reap many health benefits.
Dr. Newberg from the University of Pennsylvania found that all forms of contemplative meditation were associated with beneficial changes to the brain. However, the greatest improvements occurred when research participants meditated specifically on a God of love. This type of meditation was associated with growth in the prefrontal lobes, the “wise mind” region of the brain. These participants increased in their empathy and compassion for others, as they became more solidified in God’s love for them. And they also showed improvement in sharp thinking and memory too. Meditating on a God of love actually stimulated the brain to heal and grow. (1)
One way to meditate on God’s love is to cultivate the habit of gratitude. We all know the power of a having grateful heart. Gratitude does not keep bad things from happening, but it is a strong counterbalance to fear. Gratitude sets the focus on the present moment, rather than worrying about the future or ruminating about the past.
Gratitude is not denial about all that is painful, rather it is an allowance for those things coupled with an intentional focus on all that is good. It provides a transcendent and immediate focus as we choose to thank God for all that He has blessed us with instead of dwelling on the troubles of tomorrow or the regrets of the past.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4: 6,7 (NASB).
Gratitude is deeper than positive thinking because it both invites and acknowledges God’s presence in our current situation. Gratitude is a space that God loves to inhabit, so that as we turn our focus towards Him we become more aware of Him drawing near to us.
It is a spiritual discipline because our survival-oriented minds are prone to fretting and ruminating. Please make this a regular part of your day so that you can reap the benefits of this life-giving practice.
Consider establishing a regular time each day that you meditate on the things you are grateful for. You might want to do this on your commute, or as you are having your devotional time. Brushing your teeth could be a prompt, or you could use any regular occurrence in your day to pair up with gratitude. Please share grateful thoughts with any family members who live in your house to establish a climate of thankfulness. You will be glad that you did.
You can learn more about the power of Attachment for marriage, parenting, and faith at www.facetofaceliving.com
References:
Newberg, A. & Waldman, M. R. (2009). How God Changes Your Brain: Breakthrough Findings from a Leading Neuroscientist. New York: Random House.